Silver Lining Hypnotherapy

Beverly Bryant, Certified Instructor of Hypnotherapy

Building Rapport by Pacing

By: Beverly Bryant CH,CI

425-357-0838

Rapport means harmony. In other words, being in-sync with someone.

You can build rapport with anyone by pacing.

Using your voice, by breathing, by mirroring, and finally by leading.

The communication is:

We know them and their world.

We respect and appreciate them and their world.

We value what they value

We are “like them” and can be trusted

Repeated studies show that 93% of the meaning of the communication depends upon tonal/tempo qualities and the nonverbal behavior that accompanies the words.

Voice or Tone:

Imagine someone in an irate mood. Your first instinct is to talk to them in a calm soothing way to calm them down. In fact, the opposite is true. If you vocally pace them, you can eventually lead them out of it.

First, match your tone, rate, volume and pitch, with theirs, then, slowly start to get your voice to a more normal tone and eventually, if you have rapport, they will start to become more normal.

People talk at the rate of speed in which they process their thoughts.

People that speak quickly, think in pictures or movies.

People that speak slowly, speak from their feelings and emotions.

People that speak with a radio voice, rich and resonate are speaking from words.

Breathing:

Breathing is an unconscious act. When you have sex with someone, you may notice that you breathe at the same pace.

Research shows that when people are breathing at the same rate, that liking between them rises.

This is something that you have to do consciously.

Mirroring:

If you are standing straight and stiff and the person you want to have rapport with is slumped and relaxed, no rapport will be likely. Also, if you mirror too quickly you will mess it up.

Leading:

If someone follows your lead you know you are successful with rapport.

Imagine you are pacing using your voice, breathing and mirroring, when you feel your are in sync, do something different to change your body language, if they follow your lead, you have been successful at building rapport. If you were trying to make a point, this would be the time to make it.